Restaurant Review: Nothing Glowing at Ember Urban Eatery

There’s a moral of this story…it’s to trust your instinct.  And to never tolerate being served an $85.00 dinner on plastic ware.  But anyway, on with the review…

Recently, it was my husband’s fantasy football draft.  We were looking for a casual place to grab a bite to eat and use free wireless for the draft.  We immediately thought of Ember, a little restaurant in our neighborhood.  According to Yelp, there’s free wireless.  The menu looked completely appropriate for bringing a laptop to dinner—wings, sandwiches, salads, beer.  There was even a patio.  It was the makings of an enjoyable, laid back night.

When we arrived, we were promptly seated on the busy patio.  Busy is a good sign, right?  But I was instantly confused.  The menu was just one page of prix fixe meals as part of Devour Downtown—not at all like the $8.75 barbecue pork sandwich I’d already eyed up online, or the $10.50 smoked in house wings that received a few nods on Yelp.  Instead, we were looking at $30 per person for a half portion of an appetizer, an entrée, and dessert.  When you go to Recess, you anticipate multiple courses selected for you.  You don’t expect that at your neighborhood casual eatery.  I asked the server for the regular menu and she said it wasn't offered during Devour Downtown.  Immediately, I was uncomfortable.  After all, I wanted a sandwich.  But the draft was starting in minutes so we needed wireless, we were hungry, and we wanted to support a local spot.  We stayed.  But instinct should’ve taken over to leave.

Some background…Devour Downtown happens twice a year in Indianapolis.  Restaurants entice new diners with special menus and discounts.  For example, St. Elmo’s offers a three-course menu for either $30 or $40, depending on entrée selections, and it includes choices like their signature shrimp, filet mignon, and crème brulee.  If you don’t want to eat off the Devour menu, every restaurant I’ve been to in Indy still offers the regular menu.  The point of Devour Downtown is usually to save money while trying something new.  Instead, this neighborhood spot’s menu had truly been devoured by trying to go all fancy pants and pricey.

The appetizer selections ranged from four wings to a salad.  We both chose the wings.  Outside, they had great color and inside they were tender and moist.  The doneness was spot on, but the seasoning was weak.  They didn’t have that deep smoky flavor or a smoke ring.  They needed to be spun in a dry rub or sauce to have any kind of flavor.  The peppercorn ranch they were served with was heavy handed on the peppercorns—it had so much black pepper it was gritty.  My husband liked the dressing, I would have preferred plain ranch. 

Wings and wireless at Ember.  The wrought iron table was nice and sturdy.  The plastic chairs were not.  Not all tables have metal chairs, some have cheap plastic chairs.  The wings had a nice exterior, but no telltale pink ring of authentic smoking process or smoky flavor.  The ranch is acceptable if you really like black pepper.

Our entrees came—we both ordered ribeye steaks.  Mine was far from medium rare, but it wasn’t worth sending back at that point, so I didn’t have a new steak fired.  Nothing special, just a ribeye on a plate.  It could’ve used some seasoned crust, searing on a grill, or something distinctive.  The broccolini was acceptable—a little oily—but plain broccolini.  These two offerings were pretty much what my husband is capable of making at home with a skillet.  The standout was a mashed potato puff.  It looked like a hush puppy but was mashed potatoes rolled in breadcrumbs.  There was side of lemon aioli for dipping.  The lemon aioli didn’t entirely make sense (it was fine on the broccolini, fine on the potato) but didn’t really go with anything in particular.  I’m still not sure if it was dipping sauce for the potato puff or meant to be something else.  The potato puff was satisfyingly crunchy on the outside and creamy on the inside.  I probably would’ve been happier if I could’ve had a few of those as an appetizer and then gone home and made myself a sandwich.

Nothing special.  Steak, some broccolini, and the potato puffs.

Evidently, this is what Ember considers "medium rare."  It was tan all the way through when I cut into the steak's thickest part.

The next, and most substantial disappointment, was dessert.  I chose the amaretto cheesecake.  A small wedge came, served on a tiny plastic plate.  Plastic ware.  Not even the thick, sturdy Chinet kind.  It was heavy and gummy.  My husband chose something chocolate.  It was the tiniest 2x2 inch square of dessert in history, and was hard because part of it was frozen.  It was also on a flimsy black plastic plate.

 

Dessert--I hope you like plastic ware.  Unremarkable cheesecake and brick hard, mini-square of partially frozen chocolate "something" bar.  Really disappointing.  This was the nail in the coffin for me being able to give this neighborhood spot any love in the future.

So there we were, we’d drafted a decent (but not as fantastic as last year) fantasy football team, but without purchasing a single drink, racked up an $85.00 dinner at a neighborhood sandwich spot.  And eaten off plastic ware.  The pain of the realization that we could’ve gone to St. Elmo and had their Devour Downtown menu, which I guarantee would’ve been executed spot on and not include plastic ware, hurt.  I’ve never spent $85.00 on dinner and it included plastic ware.  Heck, I threw a birthday party out on the horse farm recently and paid $.42 per plate to rent china because people enjoy eating food off real plates.

I really wanted to like Ember—it’s local and the server was pleasant.  I could walk there from home.  But I just can’t.  A wings, sandwiches, and salad joint should KISS: keep it simple, stupid.  I’d rather eat a well-executed sandwich seven out of seven days a week (and twice on Sunday!) than something trying to be fancy, but just flat and overpriced.  Not to mention, they missed the point of Devour Downtown.  The Devour Downtown menus are an additional option at other restaurants, not the only option.  Even when Devour Downtown is over, I doubt I’ll return.  Even if I wanted to go back for the pork barbecue sandwich I set out for, there’s something inherently tacky about a place that uses plastic ware for a prix fixe dinner and serves dessert that’s partially frozen.  I simply can't support that.